Luke Fenwick - Life & Leadership Coach Melbourne

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Unstoppable self confidence is in your hands


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Self confidence is when we are flying and feeling amazing… we feel unstoppable, unbreakable, unflappable and capable of absolutely anything.

Everyone has experienced it at some stage. Some describe it as a groove, a hum or as being in the zone!

So, where do you shift from confident to something else?

Read on for my 5 pillars strategy to build unstoppable self confidence.

*If this topic on self confidence interests you further, check out a recent blog about belief and mindset where I write about my first attempt at a 60km Ultra marathon.

What is self confidence?

Self confidence is an attitude and mindset in your abilities or beliefs.

Self confidence is something that goes up and down over time and some people are more likely to have low self confidence in general. It’s important to reflect on why your confidence takes a dip as this will enable you to address this during times of need.

Ultimately, it is your inner mindset that determines the power of self confidence but that is impacted by environmental forces around us.

Let’s break it down further.

B is for Behaviour(s)

What happens when self confidence fades or disappears

There can be contributing factors to a dip in self confidence:

  • Living in stressful or abusive environments

  • Not meeting expectations with no plan to grow and learn from it

  • Having unrealistic expectations in the first place

  • Pushing well beyond our comfort zone

  • Comparing yourself to others

  • Listening to internal or external voices that aren’t supportive or even factual

  • Ignoring your need for self-care

And THE big one I see time and time again:

  • Never recognising the success you had along the way in other areas, just focusing on the bad stuff.

All of these factors usually result in people not being able to achieve their full potential, hold them back from possible situations that would contribute to their growth and over time, one can look at themselves in a diminished light.

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S is for Strategies

How to get back your self confidence

Self confidence is something that you can work on and get back if ever lost. It is important to remind yourself that you have had this belief before and there is zero reason why you can’t feel confident again.

If you lost it, you are applying a different set of rules at this time and freaking yourself out about it BUT just know that the only person that truly holds the power of self confidence is YOU.

But there is work to do!

My 5 pillars strategy to build unstoppable self confidence

Begin with blocking out the distractions, noise and outside forces that might be sapping your confidence and reflect on the times, places and evidence to support your feeling confident in general, that can get a little pep in your step!

Then apply this simple formula for building unstoppable self confidence: Clarity + Acceptance responsibility + Learning new skills + Practice + Discipline and repetition.

  1. CLARITY - This is about being crystal clear and truthful on the current state of play, no lying to yourself. Be clear on what you need to achieve going forward via visualisation.

  2. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY - Reflecting and owning the current state of play and your part in it, this will always help your mindset.

  3. LEARNING OF NEW SKILLS - Whatever you discover you need to achieve comes with needing new skills to get you there. Map out your action plan to get them!

  4. PRACTICE - Once you have those skills, put them in practice… grow, learn and build belief each time you achieve success or indeed fail.

  5. DISCIPLINE AND REPETITION - Everytime you stick with your path and don’t give up, you will progress forward and with that your confidence will grow. Yes, even if you make mistakes because this is all part of any good strategy.

Don’t forget, it’s only failure if you choose to stop and give up!

So just keep moving forward and watch the power of self confidence build over time, supported with purposeful actions.

Someone else said about this

“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.”
— Michelle Obama

If you need further help with building unstoppable self confidence (or get it back!), book a FREE call with me - no pressure, no commitment.


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